That’s the feedback my client got. And this is how I coached her to overcome what I call the “Empathy Imposter Syndrome”
As a young professional, she was insecure about who she was. She took the feedback in without questioning, and carried on believing that empathy was her weakness. It was not one of her traits, and there was nothing she could do about it.
At work, she dreaded being assessed on anything related – listening, perspective taking, communication, etc. When she saw these in a performance review, she put her head down. She knew it was “a credit” she’d miss…
Sometimes, she’d be surprised by a compliment on her Empathy. But deep inside, she could not believe it.
She felt defeated & impaired in her relationships & leadership potential.
These are signs of what I coin as the “Empathy Imposter Syndrome”
She carried this inside for years until one pandemic afternoon, when we sat down for a video call. We were talking about other things, when I mentioned that human beings are naturally wired to connect, and that Empathy is Innate. On my screen, I watched her react with some shakiness. My statement hit her like a lightning bolt.
It was shredding to pieces her belief in her Empathy impairment. She was dumbfounded. We went on about it.
Through my questioning, it was dawning on her: she had often been empathetic.
And her limiting belief made her blind to it. That was the moment when she started reclaiming her Empathy.
I invited her to journal on the moments she was empathetic, at the end of each day.
Overtime she had enough evidence to realize how empathetic she truly is.
It doesn’t mean she was empathetic all the time. No one really is. But she could see clearly when she was or wasn’t.
And she could trust herself in using her abilities to repair the moments when her empathy was not fully expressed.
She also learned that empathy is a skill. When she felt short on it, she worked with me on how to manifest it more wisely.
She regained confidence and hope in succeeding in her leadership & relationships.
Are you urging to reclaim & develop your own Empathy?
